How Am I Still Single?

I’ve always been a fairly driven individual. At the age of 5 I began discussing career options with my parents. Granted, at the age of 5 I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, but I always had the idea that I would work at something. At the age of 9 I was fascinated by outer space and space shuttles. I decided I’d become an aerospace engineer. Those dreams were dashed fairly quickly when I found out that one had to be good at math to become an engineer. Ever moving to the next thing, I kept planning and dreaming. Not having an idea of what I wanted to do in life was never an option, and my parents supported whatever crazy idea I came up with. By the age of 22 I was living my ultimate dream job—teaching middle school Orchestra (definitely not in it for the paycheck).

My job whisked me into a whirlwind of never ending business in a huge city. The majority of my 20s were spent working my ass off and then coming home in the afternoon to collapse on the couch before 7 p.m. Saturdays were spent judging competitions or taking students to competitions. My schedule was very full and I was very tired. It never occurred to me that I might be missing out on some important things in life until I turned 25 or so. Fast forward through new social groups, exploring the big city, still working my ass off, finding the best friends ever, lots of drinks……………………and here we are. I’m 36. I’m still very focused on my career, I’m still busy, and I’ve still never been married, which brings me to the next part of my little tale.

“How is someone as great as you still single?” another random person asks me, feigning absolute shock as they silently judge me and assume I have 14 cats, have no social life, and am the poster child for an asexual lifestyle. “Well,” I respond sarcastically, “it doesn’t help that dragon scales are beginning to cover half of my body, but other than that I really don’t know.” I really DON’T KNOW. I don’t get it. I have a great job, my own place, a certain degree of hilarity, I’m smart, pretty; I could go on bragging about myself but then I’d have to take humility off of the list.

What I’d really like is to be accepted for just me. I’ve lived my life without the expectation of the plus one, and all of a sudden I’m 36 and I’m expected to ONLY have marriage as a goal? While I’d love to meet a man who appreciates me (and my dragon scales) for who I am, I realize that the kind of man I’m looking for is as rare as a purple unicorn. I really want that purple unicorn though, and I can’t settle for JUST a white horse. Why am I single? I refuse to stay with someone who breaks my heart, lies to me, and disappoints me. I haven’t met a man who doesn’t do those things yet. My heart and I will gladly wait for our purple unicorn. He’ll be worth it.

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